As much as I wanted to extend my verbal expression about my first pick on the most relevant post I've read on the internet I would just go to the ones I can relate so here we go;
Number (1) was the first thing that caught my attention yet, I'll save the best for last. I'll go first with the;
Number (11) Make peace with your past so it won't mess up with the present. Hmm, just realized things from my past. What if my past doesn't want to make peace? What should I do? Do I have to chase on it just to make peace regardless of the circumstances? Well, there was this favorite person of mine whom I hurt the most; I mean we're both in so much agony of the delicate things we didn't handle the way we should and we both developed anguish, emotional distress, and the feeling of trying to avoid the pain of loneliness and yet we both drove ourselves there. It took me 15 long years when I wrote him, you know, professing the so called "story of us" thing; every moment, the love, the sacrifices, the pain, and the good byes, that up to now when I check my emails I would stop and read my letter to that person and still it gives me the feeling of yesterday, so fresh -- so tangible that it makes me cry bitterly. The chilling effect of "What Ifs". An agony, geez. It wasn't the chance or whatever you want to call it, I took the risk and the opportunity to peace because I deserve my present. They say "If you don't take risk then you're wasting your soul." So there it was sent, seen but no reaction, none, nothing, just SEEN. Just like the coldness of the icy snowman in L.A. And so in a rational manner I've decided to stop right there and then; back off girl, it was done, and the word said "Make peace" and so you did. It doesn't said that they must also peace with you reciprocally. The effort, the awkwardness, the feeling of unwantedness and all that confusing manifestations that can arise from this and can succumbed my being again is enough for me to bear. I did it! And that's far more than enough. Enough is enough. I am Worthy and I remember that. It's all up to him. Not mine.
Number (28) Forgive yes but forget not. I forgive easily. I even forget what's done even if it crushed to the point of me swooning, really. But the one I will discuss is different. A married couple I know for 16 years now. A good looking couple I might say, they were the happy-loved-fulfill couple I know beside my parents. But they don't have the so-called "Fruit of the womb," yeah, a little bit sad but knowing them they were happy more than a bird with french fries. They go life, they love life and they were a religious couple. One day the husband cheated on her but the wife already knew it the first sign. They quarreled over the question as to why would you do such horrible-betrayal-unrespectful-inhuman thing to your wife, who was there for you all along, who sacrificed so much, who gives you understanding, who comforts you, who love you unconditionally, who give up her life just to give you a decent family, a tidy home, a good food, and to make everything in good order, she even taught herself to know and love God so she can love you better. Why did you do this? See... how can she forgive with that so much pain she can't barely assume. But you know what she does amazed me. With all those exhausted -- wasted time they quarrelled she realized she wasn't alone, she had God. And while she's praying, she decides on something beautiful, she compose herself, she do things the way she always does in that marriage and then one day her husband asks her "Why are you so calm after what we've been through, I'm kinda scared" she replied "With all the betrayal you've done I fail to keep my calmness, I lose my grip on life, I lose myself in the process, and I almost forgot I have God, and now I have decided to leave you peacefully, I have plans, tomorrow I will go some place where I'm wanted and loved, because when you cheated on me you're telling me you don't need me. and so I go. I will go in a peaceful manner, I don't want to quarrel anymore, i won't fight with you. you can now go with your mistress." And so the husband begged for his wife not to leave him, he begged his wife's forgiveness and asked his wife's permission to pray the Rosary with her. And so they did. She forgives him for God's sake. It was all for the Glory of God that she forgives not only because she want peace for herself. And I am certain that she cannot moved past this life's excruciating experience without God. I just know that. So we forgive because we have God. Some forgive because they want to douse of past history that may have be disadvantageous and have negative effect on their life. Some forgive because it's their nature. And I forgive because I deserve life and I am a child of God.
To be continued ...
